I Can’t Believe It’s Not Gambling GOTY Edition: 100% Achievement Guide

Hello! This is the third Steam achievement guide I have made. As usual, if you have anything to add, or any questions, please comment and I will respond.

If you’re like me, you probably just wanted to learn how to get Sense of Pride and Accomplishment. This is the hardest achievement in the game, but only because it is an unavoidable grind, made harder by a game that hasn’t been updated in almost four years. I will get more into that in its own section below, so feel free to skip to that now. Otherwise, I will optimal strategy for the rest of the achievements here.

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As I said above, Sense of Pride and Accomplishment is the hardest achievement in the game. I collected every single other achievement in only a couple hours, but Sense of Pride and Accomplishment took me almost a month to grind for. As such, you should focus on getting all other achievements first, just to knock them out.

All you need to do is simply play the game and collect everything. I would spend a minute or so selling everything you open, until you have a decent cash stack of 100-200. Then, I would collect everything you unbox. Remember, if you already have collected an item, you will be forced to sell it if you see it again, which you definitely will, so don’t worry about selling a particular rarity, you will be forced to eventually anyways. Start with Trash, and collect all loot, including Christmas loot, before moving on to Cardboard Box, and then going down the line of objects until you reach the end. If you haven’t already, equip a hat and a skin, and launch Not BF II. You should have every single other achievement now, and are ready to start The Grind. You may prestige if you’d like, or not. There are no achievements related to prestigeing.

Some of the easiest achievements in the game are the sell/collect achievements. These are acquired by simply selling or collecting a particular rarity of loot. I wouldn’t go out of your way for them in particular. These include:

Sell 1 Trash
Hot garbage

Sell 1 Common
‘sallright

Collect 1 Common
A common man marvels at uncommon things. A wise man marvels at the commonplace

Sell 1 Uncommon
Dolla dolla bills, y’all

Collect 1 Uncommon
When everyone’s special, no one is…

Sell 1 Rare
Mo money, mo problems…

Collect 1 Rare
This would go a lot faster if you just gave us your credit card info

Sell 1 Epic
Cha-ching!

Collect 1 Epic
Doesn’t this feel good?…Buy more boxes!

Sell 1 Legendary
I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man

Collect 1 Legendary
Wha! Legendary!!!!

The next set of achievements you will likely get are those for getting full collections of items, including Christmas items. These include:

Collect All Trash Items
That’s okay. It’s what’s on the inside that counts

Collect All Christmas Trash Loot
Have a Merry Stinky Holiday!

Collect All Cardboard Box Items
Meh

Collect All Christmas Cardboard Loot
Your cats favorite part of the Holidays

Collect All Crate Items
Uncommon…just like you (and your credit card)

Collect All Christmas Crate Loot
Crates and Crates of Holiday Cheer!

Collect All Present Items
Ohhh… Shiny

Collect All Christmas Present Loot
Isn’t this kind of redundant?

Collect All Ship Items
It’s it! What is it?

Collect All Christmas Ship Loot
Santas Sleigh of the 21st Century

Collect All Animoo Items
Gotta catch ’em all…

Collect All Christmas Animoo Loot
Even weebs want to have a happy holiday

Collect All Treasure Items
Raid Ready!

Collect All Christmas Treasure Loot
The real Treasure was the journey to get here

Three Achievements don’t exactly fit into any category, but their names are pretty self-explanatory. They are:

Equip A Skin
Moisturize Me!

Equip A Hat
M’Lady

Launch ‘Not BF II’
Launch ‘Not BF II’

Not BF II is the minigame in the bottom left corner. It launches a Snake-like game that gives you coins, depending on how well you did. I’m not sure what “Not BF II” is a reference to. If you do know, please let me know.

The last achievement. My magnum opus. The alpha to the omega. Fear incarnate.

Sense of Pride and Accomplishment requires you to open 100,000 items total. This is already quite a large amount, which is very graciously not made worse by being a much grander 1,000,000. You will need to commit a large portion of your time, about 20 days for me, in order to get this achievement. If you’re like me, you did the math; at about 11 openings a minute, that comes down to a bit less than 6 days straight of opening. So what’s the issue, can’t I leave my computer on over night, with an auto clicker or program or something to open boxes for me? Yes, yes you can, and maybe you can open 100,000 boxes in one session and get the achievement. But if you want to turn the game off? What if you have to turn your computer off, and pick it back up later? Due to unforeseen consequences, mostly due to the game not being updated in almost four years, your opening progress stops saving after about 20 minutes. You’ll need to create your own program to close and reopen the game every 20 minutes, or just never close the game. I don’t know enough to create such a program, and I don’t have the capability to leave my computer on for six days straight, so I had to manually close and reopen my game every 20 minutes to keep my progress going. It was really bad. I was demotivated to play an actual game, because I’m wasting opening time. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But the things we do for 100% completion, right?

You probably skipped that whole paragraph, and just want the short answer from above, right? Sense of Pride and Accomplishment requires you to open 100,000 items total. Due to the game itself being unmaintained, opening progress stops saving every 20 or so minutes. So, you can either leave your game open for 6 days straight, while an auto clicker does the work for you, or you can manually close and reopen the game in order to continually save your progress, which of course means overnight openings do not work. In any case, I wish you the best of luck.

Sense of Pride and Accomplishment
Sense of Pride and Accomplishment