Terraria: KUMALALA AND SAVESTA SEASON 1 *complete guide*

kumalala and savesta, initially friends,
suddenly discover a bunker with a logo scratched off while wandering through the forest
they decide the next morning that they will try to enter the seemingly abandoned bunker.
the next day, with a crowbar they pry open the bunker doors worn down to such a degree that you could open them with a toddler
they enter the gloomy infirmary-type structure, with seemingly nothing more to it.
savesta letting an open shelf slip his gaze
trips over onto some boxes, revealing an opening
which leads to a massive laboratory
with more logos smeared off, the friends began to grow suspicious
but suddenly, a light turned on in a test chamber near the end of the room
and from the darkness lunged a reddish-brown mass of flesh, clawing at the tempered glass windows, attempting to escape “its” captivity
the friends, out of terror, try to run, noticing a massive vile similar to the “husk’s” flesh
savesta takes the vile on his way out
but kumalala’s foot got injured while trying to flee
out of pure adrenaline, savesta did not hear the desperate cries of kumalala
allowing the husk to break free of the chamber and attack kumalala, leading to his brutal death at the hands of the mass

though, kumalala did not die, as the plague was keeping him alive.

the plague finally finding a host who manage to keep their sentience even under its control, started spreading rapidly across his body.
at the same time, savesta made it out of the bunker, and shut the door despite knowing it wont help.
he ran out of the forest, trying to forget what happened soon thereafter.
but kumalala never forgot.
kumalala, now acting as a mech suit for the plague, managed to create husks that did not need a human host to function, including firearms, that grossly shoot human teeth.
the husks broke out of the bunker (rather easily) and made their way towards the city that savesta had fled to.
when the husks began their attack, the local chief in command adomas “surveillance” baublys was notified of the outbreak while he was touching a boy he lured into his office
he found more children, drafted them, and made the only mandatory training for him to grope them violently before sending them off in 50kg heavily advanced military armor tech that needs 2 years training to use (minimum) that barely fit the children, alongside extremely heavy, modified high tech prototypes of already existing weapons
the children (unsurprisingly) were quickly overwhelmed by the hordes of husks under kumalala’s command
the remaining “”combatants”” fled to the nearby freddy fazbears pizzaria, holding out in the establishment for 7 nights, though they did mysteriously lose 6 people out of the blue with no trace of the kids.

they left after the 7th night, being tired of the pizza and the new extremely musty smell originating from the animatronics
28 children also cut their fingers off accidentally due to the bayonet lug
the 20 children remaining out of 20,000 quickly fled, recruiting karl urban dosed with 2 liters of a green substance that seemingly gave super-human abilities alongside making a tough alliance with the now horrid-smelling fredrington von fitzgerald for him to turn into an infinite ammo machine gun firing .50 BMG “Pizza” rounds.

Savesta, finally getting bored of shoving women into his armpit, looked out of his window to see the commotion, only to see the streets being war-torn with a robot bear and disgruntled british man with lasers mowing down hordes of the same husk he saw in the bunker
while turning to run away, he saw a cube with eyes on it in the middle of the room.
at the same time, he heard a familiar voice call out “hey, savesta”
frozen in disbelief, the cube opens into a net, entangling savesta, when he begins to talk to “his friend”
he recalls, “who are you, you aren’t my friend!”
kumalala: “why, its you’re friend, kumalala!”
savesta angrily shouts: “my eyes tell me you’re kumalala, but my soul tells me otherwise!”
kumalala realizing savesta isn’t buying his facade, rips one of his limbs off, revealing a writhing mass of flesh inside of him
“you’re correct, i am not kumalala. i am john appleseed”
at this time, a kid knocks the door down, barely lifting his gun, shoots john square in the ♥♥♥♥, causing a great deal of pain
just as one of the plague tentacles was about to reach the kid, assaulting and ripping her to shreds, ryomen baublys (the evil twin brother of adomas “surveillance” baublys), using quandale dingle’s body as a host bursts through the ceiling, saying
“stand proud, you’re strong”
“i hereby forbid every person in a 3.14km radius from moving until I say “schlomba”.”
while proceeding to throw gang signs and using his cursed technique, “open their legs” and proceeding to vaporize the entire east coast of the united states,

including kumalala, karl urban. fredrington, the remaining child soldiers, the united states economy, joe biden’s remaining mental capacity and most importantly, savesta.
looking at the ginormous crater
ryomen laughs, says “what the sigma”, eats half a bucket of popcorn, litters and finally hands control back to quandale.
as the memories flood back, quandale breaks down into tears and throws up all over the ground, shouting “I AM NOT THE SKIBIDI-EST OF THEM ALL!” as SPECIALZ by japanese band King Gnu plays so loudly, it bursts everyone’s eardrums, including quandale’s though he quickly used reverse edging technique to regain his hearing.
also russia sent every nuclear warhead at the united states to retaliate for a tourist trying to tip a waitress in moscow
despite them being paid living wages

“im sorry my little jujutsu kaisen, I just wanted to make sure my nephew’s ready for the real world, you are my special.”

as quandale swallowed his sorrows, remembering his duty of protecting the continental united states of america, he ran to a nearby subway, he froze in shock, noticing his father standing menacingly infront of the cafe within the subway
his father remarked: “wow, how long has it been, huh? i travelled to canada on foot to get the freshest bagged milk, only for you to disregard my efforts to satisfy your spoiled ass, passing it off as ‘my attempt at abandoning you’. when i heard the way you thought of me, i decided why not make your theory come to life. so i left and never looked back. until now.”
quandale responded: “maybe it was better that you left. after mom died, grandpa took me under his wing and before HIS death, he told me to ‘you’re a strong kid, so 200 pump the opps’. that’s why i joined edging society. you never gave me any advice worth thinking about and you pretend like you were an incredible father always present in my lif-.”
“that attitude is what’s gonna end your life, son.”
both walking in a circle, lunged at eachother.

quandale sr.’s technique is “Video Game Dexterity”. with this technique, all injuries do not affect the technique user, only pilling up until the user spontaniously dies. this technique also grants the user ‘video game character’-like movement, allowing smooth movement not constricted by any outside factors, including injuries.
at this time, i deadly notification appeared
‘DUALSHOCK 4 Controller has been disconnected’
quandale sr. was temporarily paralyzed, not being able to move whatsoever.
quandale taking this opportunity, along with his besto friendo, grammy winner megan thee stallion and her copycat ability jumped the ♥♥♥♥ out of his dad

quandale sr. realising he’s done for, summons megumi fushiguro out of thin air to escort him out of the subway via his pet parrot
as quandale jr and grammy winner megan thee stallion
chase after the 2
until granny from the hit childrens horror game granny appears and summons the romanian final boss, whom rips megumi’s head off, along with his spine.

in a long and convoluted flashback which recaps his whole childhood
it is revealed that romania final boss is infact – quandale’s father.
he then proceeds to rip rebar straight out of the wall and stick it straight through his head
making himself a fan favorite character despite being a deadbeat father who has 2 seconds of screen time
understanding there is no point in fighting, the fake quandale sr. attempts to reconnect with his son, inviting him to a thanksgiving dinner
where they finally put an end to this story
also the shockwave of romania final boss being summoned tore grammy winner megan thee stallion in two, making her into gram/my win/ner me/gan th/ee stal/lion

the end of season 1.

season 2 when??????